Skirmish 1: I walked through life as a teenager and this is what I saw
I Walked through Life as a Teenager and This is What I Saw
I
There are many things in life
that one may be. One may be
a master of children; or
a well-draped singer; or
a youth pastor who placates
otherwise burning youths
with a nearly somnambulant smile; or
chimes in the morning; or
a sickly stump
who gets in people's way,
the dread host of a curse
that men/women tolerate
only because they think
(that is, they don't think
they've learned from 'merica)
that cruelty is the opposite of tolerance; or
an isolated paleskin, an amateur yogi
who warbles in public squares
and masturbates at home.
I
There are many things in life
that one may be. One may be
a master of children; or
a well-draped singer; or
a youth pastor who placates
otherwise burning youths
with a nearly somnambulant smile; or
chimes in the morning; or
a sickly stump
who gets in people's way,
the dread host of a curse
that men/women tolerate
only because they think
(that is, they don't think
they've learned from 'merica)
that cruelty is the opposite of tolerance; or
an isolated paleskin, an amateur yogi
who warbles in public squares
and masturbates at home.
II
The noise of humans and their machines
crowds out the chirping and chanting of birds
making real what Keats feared in "La Belle Dame Sans Merci"
the time and place where no birds sing.
It is an existence uncooled,
still rumbling on with the groaning of animal instinct
(Bosses burst upon skinny secretaries by Thursday evening,
night watchmen flicker flashlights on and off at their own faces,
badly drawn tattoos of flaccid faunal majesty - eagles, tigers, snakes -
pasted on the backs of Christians)
but still so well shodden of important heat.
III
Offerings these days are made
on well-packed freeways
where fat Dad
and lipstick Mom
race their machines to work--
Steel'd and rubber'd hecatombs to Oblivion.
posted by Jackie | 5:26 AM
3 Comments:
Yes, yes! This is good, see, that you are doing this, I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about at all by putting something up regularly. You would think that an easily identifiable vocation would be first put up, but no, the distanced "master of children" . . .using the pc phrase "men/women" is a great Johny A edge . . .and then "an isolated paleskin, an amateur yogi who warbles in public squares
and masturbates at home." That line gives the same Hesse-ian deflation of the typical eastern mystic, his sensai gambles and fornicates, yours, along with the theme of juvenility, masturbates . . .and he "warbles in public squares", as if he is preaching, but "warbling" gives thsi degree of hesitancy, like his gospel wavers due to his adolescence.
Great morphological creativity: "machinescrowds." "flaccid faunal majesty - eagles, tigers, snakes " a great way to phrase it. and then, of course, "fat Dadand lipstick Momrace", fat and lipstick being parralleled, as if they are equally integral predicates for their respective subjects (which they are) . . . Hmm . . .some of the things you do well in this poem I have only seen in this poem, making me think that it is because you perhaps loosened your self-critical nature that allowed you to reach some of these things. Maybe being comfortable with your improvisational creativity could be more than a catharsis, it could be a powerful addition to your literary artillery, and I suggest that you explore this "two week skirmish more" . . . I will definitely be staying tuned to what else you post.
And concerning my "endings" poem you recently commented on (sry, I don't know where else to write this!) . . .yeah, I was thinking about bringing your attention to it, but i declined, since I am embarrased about some of its content (since it is a fairly autobiographical poem) . . .I wrote it after a "falling out" with God, where I snapped out of my religiosity. Yeah, I wrote it after I got back into poetry with a reading of Wordsworth, and it is essentially improvised, I have not cleaned it up since writing it, but I think it was really powerful because I had time to refresh away from poetry (since I was reading alot of Langan's CTMU) and so once I picked up Wordsworth I was profoundly inspired and prone to better word use and such.
btw, new poetry blog:
http://notquitedonne.blogspot.com/
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