Skirmish 3: A Whorl of Dross
I
(yes, typical opening, I know)
the stars first make themselves evident
they awaken from the slumber of humility
Desperation is a rocky singer
dusting off his boots
on the shore of Santa Catalina island:
"I made champion out of a Clam;
I walk the borders of ecstasy
sipping on piña colada.
help me, O sweet anything"
II
Breaking upon the rocks
a little skinny white boy
pops his inner tube
shaped like a feckless green dragon
with bulging eyes.
III
That's all I need
Now, let me invoke the depths of hallowed Hell.
If ye hear me, O riotous powers o' the deep,
Ye fiends of the night who've so suffused
the land with all your drunken revelry
bane of men and women - hear me!
I am prophetess of lands forsaken by sense –
We have a project on our hands,
make the wheels work again.
Ah fie, I do not know what I speak of....
posted by Jackie | 12:34 AM
1 Comments:
This was is good!
"even": did you mean to put evening?
"yes, typical opening, I know": haha, and therefore not a typical opening!
"slumber of humility": and stars coming from it, an enchanting thought to ponder.
"O sweet anything": sounds desperate, but said from an otherwise confident and lounging figure.
The whole subject matter of II is keen in placement, it is just a short quip that stands out and then leaves us.
"prophetess of lands forsaken by sense": sense, being a word of many meanings, makes the contruct good.
I like this more than 2, and do not know how to rate this compared to 1.
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