No light in the mornings

Somehow myself survived the Night
And entered with the Day —
That it be saved the Saved suffice
Without the Formula.

Henceforth I take my living place
As one commuted led —
A Candidate for Morning Chance
But dated with the Dead.

-- Emily Dickinson

I had a dream that I was going to be canonized as a saint, but I had to refuse because I didn't like the idea of my image being made into an ikon to be kissed by filthy priests.

Sometimes I wake up and I feel so tired, as if I can't believe that we're all alive, that humans even exist on this little planet, making music, cheating others, living in buildings, being presumptuous all the time. What an insane accident! Humans are so stupid!!!

But then I finally wake up, get out of my drowsy mode, get hungry, and forget all about it. I think this poem by Miss Dickinson embodies what I am thinking about here (I found it by searching for "survived the night", because that phrase seemed to be analogous to what I was feeling), though she does it much more beautifully, and with a phrasing that I don't completely understand at the moment....